Sunday, September 20, 2009

Oh Crap - College......

So, I'm walking through a bookstore the other day (a very dangerous thing for my bank account) and I see a table loaded with stuff about college -- taking the ACT vs. the SAT, writing application essays, evaluating colleges, financial aid, college survival kits, calendars with deadlines for stuff - like tests and college applications -- I'm about to walk right by the table when it hits me - OMG AUSTIN IS GOING TO COLLEGE SOON, VERY SOON, TOO SOON !!

I'm not ok with this on so many levels its ridiculous.

Its not like I didn't know it was coming....eventually....Austin has been talking about going to college since he was very young. I remember the conversation we had when he was about 5 and talking about us going to college together. After I explained to him that he will be a very big boy by the time he goes to college, that parents don't go to college with their kids and he will be living with a roommate he sat and thought for awhile and said "well I'm going to tell them I don't want anybody in my room except you" (my heart flips) and I told him that by the time he goes to college, he will be such a big boy that he won't want me to live with him at college -- he looked at me with big brown eyes brimming with tears and said that he would always want me to live with him....and from that day forward he has gotten everything he has ever wanted :) kidding....but it was very sweet.

Austin is 17 now and will probably be horrified when I tell him about that conversation -- at this age he would prefer that I not know where he will be going to college. Alright that is an exaggeration, but he really hates sharing information with me. Even worse, he doesn't want to live with me all the time. Ahhhh - a topic for another post.

When I was in high school we really didn't even talk about college. I went to a very small school in a very small town and out of my 42 person class, I think 6 of us ended up going to college. I was so sheltered that I thought everyone went to college -- it was never presented to me as a choice or something I had to strive (or pay) for. ACT? SAT? I had no idea what these things were or that they could control my future -- they didn't even offer the SAT in my town -- you had to drive 2 hours to a larger town to take it. I took the ACT (no prep) early in the morning of the first day of the district wresting tournament -- now THAT was a big deal -- I was a cheerleader and wresting was "the" sport in my town and I had to miss part of the first day of the tournament because of this stupid test. Luckily I have always done well on standardized tests and I somehow ended up with a fairly high score so I had some choices of schools when it came time to choose.

Times have changed.....I guess we were supposed to have started taking Austin to colleges that he might like to go to last year (oops!) and to have narrowed down his choices. Apparently we are supposed to hire someone to assist us in getting Austin into the right college (I'm using "us" as a convenience, Austin's dad and I don't do much together - and yes, I'm the woman who helps people learn how to co-parent - what is your point?) Here is my question: Is it really that complicated? Are we negligent if we don't do all these things the "experts" tell us to do? I want the best for my son and I want him to be happy and it would be great if he could get a job after college, but I don't think it helps him much to be completely stressed out and consumed with the competition of getting into the "best" schools.

Am I nuts? I went to a teeny tiny high school that offered one course for college bound students, then I went to a relatively small in-state university and then I went to an in-state law school. Turns out that getting into my law school was very competitive -- not sure how I made it in, but a large percentage of my classmates were from the "best" colleges - Harvard, Yale, Berkley (sp?), etc. and (not to brag)(ha) this small town girl from a "no-name" college held her own very well against those people and graduated very high in the class. Unfortunately, in my chosen profession firms are very very snobby about what law school you went to and what your rank was. If I had understood that at the time I was applying to law schools, I might have tried to get into a more "prestigious" law school - who knows. So, I'm conceding that at some level the school you go to can be pretty important, on the other hand, I got a great job right out of law school.

Back to Austin -- he is a junior in high school getting good grades and loving life. I love that he is loving life -- I get so much satisfaction from seeing him enjoy his high school years. Do we really have to get all serious now in order for him to get into a college? The stacks of books at Barnes & Noble suggest that the answer to that question is "yes" and "you should have started years ago." Am I the only parent resisting this? Does anyone else think some of this stuff is overkill?

I guess I'll be doing some book shopping soon. If the economy stays the way it is I just might be joining Austin in college - wouldn't he just loooooove that.

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